We Not Suck This Year!

whiskyblossoms:

So I’ve worked as a barista before and I’ve seen some truly bizarre shit, but nothing prepared me for what happened when I stopped in at Starbucks during lunch today.

I ordered a matcha lemonade. Pretty standard, it’s so hot outside that even iced coffee is too heavy. I’m standing at the end of the bar checking Instagram and look up to see the barista pull lemonade from the fridge.

“Cool”, I think, “my drink is already next”. I look back down at my phone and when I look up a few seconds later the barista is at the hot bar steaming a drink. I assume the previous lemonade was for the drive through, nbd, I have an hour. Then a few seconds later my name is called.

The barista places a hot cup on the bar. Ok. Cashier probably heard “latte”, it’s happened before.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I ordered a matcha LEMONADE, not latte! I know how loud it can be back there I should have double checked that the cashier heard me.” I genuinely do feel bad about asking her to remake the drink, but it’s hotter than Satan’s jockstrap outside so I really don’t want to take the hot milk based beverage.

“This is a matcha lemonade”, the barista smiles. She clearly said lemonade. Auditory hallucination?

Incongruity detected. I pause for a second to process and say jokingly “oh, are you guys out of cold cups?”

“Oh, was it supposed to be iced?” The barista looks confused, “I can make you another lemonade with ice”.

I blue screened. You could see the ellipsis flashing above my head. My brain physically could not wrap itself around the fact that this woman was handing me a steaming hot lemonade so it short circuited into next week. This barista saw an order for a lemonade come in, in August, in Florida, and was like “this needs to be hot!” and handed it to me with 100% confidence that she was right.

And like, it was such a meaningless thing overall but it shattered my universe for a moment. Hot lemonade.

After a moment enough of my neurons went back online to say “yes please I would like that lemonade iced”.

It’s been three hours and I can’t stop thinking about it. What is the inside of that woman’s mind like? What galaxy brain secrets does she know? If I drank the hot lemonade would my third eye have opened?